Who You Are
by Griffin Stone
Summary: (A trio of one-shots) Nosebleeds, a fire, and a punch to the face causes the team to learn some things about the red paladin.
1. Pressure

**A/N: This story is going to have three chapters, each containing a headcannon I have about Keith. None of them have been mentioned in my other stories (except for the theme of the second chapter, which was seen in _Hysterical_ ) because it would have required an explanation each time.**

 **I'm not sure what to call this. The characters are kind of OOC (especially Shiro, but I had fun writing him), but only because the events aren't canon. It's not intended to be an AU, but there are obviously ways that the headcannons wouldn't work canonly. I kept it as canon-compliant as possible.**

 **Synopsis: An accident in training and a mission gone wrong forces the team to acknowledge that something is wrong with Keith.**

 **Warnings: Blood.**

* * *

No one really wondered about the handkerchief that suddenly was poking out of Shiro's pocket at any given time. When Lance asked about it, Shiro just gave a vague answer of having it there in case he needed it. The team had given a mental shrug and let it be.

Although they had slightly panicked when Pidge spotted the kerchief dotted with blood one day. Shiro had insisted it was nothing, then patiently put up with multiple scans in the infirmary. Shiro was cleared of illness and injury, and the incident was forgotten.

For a while, it never occurred to the three youngest paladins that the handkerchief was for someone other than Shiro. But then the first clue showed up a month after finding Blue.

* * *

The team was engaged in duo trills against the training gladiator. Keith and Lance were teamed up and doing surprisingly well, until Lance moved into close range. Keith had to dodge past the blue paladin, accidentally stepping in the way of the gladiator's staff.

The _crack_ of the staff meeting Keith's face made the team wince and caused Shiro to end the training sequence.

"What are you doing?" Allura demanded, worse than a drill sergeant. "You can't expect the Galra to stop their attack just because one of you is hit!"

"Allura, we're still learning," Shiro insisted, watching Keith wobble to his knees. "If we push too hard, it will only make things worse. We can't fight the Galra we are hurt from just training."

Allura huffed. "Five doboshes."

Hunk and Pidge groaned, then quickly turned them into coughs when Allura looked at them. Shiro turned his attention to Keith, who was hunched over on his knees. Lance, who had been watching Allura, realized that his training partner still hadn't stood.

"What's wrong, Mullet?" Lance asked with a teasing grin. "Pidge can hit harder than that robot."

Pidge squawked a protest and charged Lance. The lanky boy, used to dealing with younger kids, caught her by the shoulders and held her back.

"Lance!" Pidge growled.

Shiro chuckled at Pidge's struggles to free herself. Allura watched them with an exasperated frown, but Shiro was happy to leave them at it.

Keith abruptly gave a strangled grunt and scrambled to his feet. Head ducked, Keith ran right into Shiro, who caught and steadied him. Keith mumbled something through the hand pressed to his face, then darted from the room before the other paladins realized what had happened.

"Uh, what was that all about?" Hunk asked.

Lance smirked. "When you gotta go, you gotta go."

While Lance was distracted, Pidge jerked herself free and backward. Lance, unprepared for her sudden disappearance, stumbled forward with a yelp. He quickly straightened, tugging at his armor like Coran did to his vest, and turned toward Shiro.

In a flash, Lance's carefree grin vanished and he gave another yelp.

"Shiro, you're bleeding!"

Pidge and Hunk spun to face Shiro, who winced and glanced down at the spot of blood on the shoulder of his armor. Lance fast-walked over and wiped the blood away to find the source.

"How can Shiro be hurt?" Hunk asked, glassy-eyed at the sight of the blood. "He hasn't even trained yet."

Shiro pushed away Lance's searching hands. "I'm not hurt."

"No, you normally have blood on your armor," Lance said, surprisingly serious. "Where's your 'kerchief?"

Lance glanced at where it normally poked out of his armor, but it was gone. Curious, he circled Shiro like the handkerchief could have moved elsewhere on its own. As he completed the circle, his eyes fell on a small puddle of blood on the floor. It was where Keith had landed after getting hit.

"It's Keith's!" Lance exclaimed. "Why didn't he say he was hurt? We gotta find him and make sure that he isn't-"

Shiro silenced Lance by covering his mouth with his flesh hand. "Keith is taking care of it."

"You knew that Keith was hurt and didn't say anything?" Allura asked, tone accusatory. "Whatever happened about getting hurt in training wouldn't help us?"

"Coran is helping him," Shiro said.

"Coran is right-" Allura turned and found Coran to be gone. "He is?"

Shiro nodded. "Keith is in good hands. Let's finish training ourselves."

"This is supposed to be a team bonding exercise," Allura murmured to herself, but eventually allowed the team to continue.

Keith returned half a varga later, slightly paler than before. He didn't respond to Lance's teasing prodding, and didn't protest when Shiro abruptly requested to change exercises to a calmer one.

Shiro didn't ask the others to remain quiet about the incident, but they did anyway. Seeing Keith so pale and quiet had spooked them, and they didn't really want to ask.

A month later, though, they had no choice but to address the issue.

* * *

It was one of the team's first missions on a foreign planet. The plan had been to maintain stealth, but Hunk had blown their cover. In the following chase, Pidge had fallen behind and Lance got clotheslined by a tree branch, forcing the others to stop. They had been captured soon after and forced into a cell.

Keith had fought the whole way, of course, so the sentry shoved him into cell with obviously more force than needed. He skidded across the small room and smack into the wall.

The act angered Shiro, prompting him to kick the sentry clear out of the cell. A useless act since the door was slammed shut right behind the sentry anyway, but it felt good. Shiro scowled at the door and turned back to the team.

Pidge sat in one corner of the room, nursing the twisted ankle that had slowed her. Hunk wiped at the scratches on Lance's face and carefully removed the splinters. Keith knelt in the corner opposite of Pidge, still facing the wall with his face almost to the ground.

"Keith, are you okay?" Shiro asked, moving over to squat beside the boy.

Keith grunted and started to sit up, then gasped and curled back down. This caught the attention of the others, who quickly moved closer. Shiro, having seen what had caused that reaction, waved them off and reached into his armor. He pulled out the handkerchief and handed it to Keith, who snatched it and shoved it against his face.

"Easy," Shiro murmured. "Come on, buddy, sit up."

Keith grunted and shook his head.

"Keith," Shiro said firmly. "Keeping your head down will make it worse."

Lance, Hunk, and Pidge watched curiously as Keith moaned. He slowly sat up and Shiro helped him shift around to press his back to the wall, allowing the others to see what was wrong.

Keith's hands were pressed tightly against his nose. The kerchief clenched in them was darkening with blood.

"Nosebleed?" Hunk asked with a sympathetic wince. He'd gotten better with the sight of blood, and didn't flinch away at the sight of Keith's bloody face. "How hard did you hit that wall?"

"Didn'," Keith said nasally. "Cau' myde'f."

"So what's up with the nosebleed?" Lance asked. "Dry air?"

Keith glared at Lance, but his eyes were weirdly glassy. Lance noted the rather bloody handkerchief, and his eyes widened.

"Dude, it is not healthy to lose that much blood from a nosebleed," Lance said, suddenly worried. "You need a doctor! Or a pod, at least!"

Keith grimaced. "'O 'ood."

"No good?" Pidge translated.

"We've tried to use the pod to fix this," Shiro said with a sigh.

"This has happened before?" Hunk asked, then remembered the training room incident. "...this happens a lot, doesn't it?"

"Yes," Shiro said, making Keith grunt at him. "Keith, we can't keep this a secret from the team."

Keith lowered his hands. "I'm fine."

Lance was suddenly in front of him, one of his gloves under Keith's nose when it dripped again. Keith tried to push him away, but Lance stubbornly remained.

"Nosebleeds can be serious if not handled right. Pinch your nose and lean forward a bit," Lance said.

Keith glared, but did as Lance said.

"Good. Just try to breathe through your mouth. My brother Carlos gets nosebleeds all the time when he visits the Garrison," Lance said by way of explanation. "The dry desert air does it to him. Do you know what causes Keith's?"

"I can answer myself," Keith muttered when Lance looked at Shiro.

"He's had them for as long as I have known him. Doctors have looked at him, and said that his nasal passages were damaged when he was young."

Shiro didn't elaborate that it was smoke that had done the damage. Keith sometimes responded very negatively to the mention of fires -one when he was eight in particular- and Shiro could see the boy was barely holding himself together as it was.

Shiro slid back in front of Keith, easing Lance out of the way. He carefully noted Keith's shining eyes and held back a sigh. For whatever reason, Keith became emotional during his nosebleeds, and he was fighting a losing battle to keep it together in front of the team.

"It's okay, Keith," Shiro said soothingly.

"I'm sorry," Keith said in a cracked voice. "I should've been there."

"We've gone over this, bud." Shiro moved Keith's hand and winced when he saw it was still dripping. "It's better that you stayed."

"What are you talking about?" Pidge asked.

Shiro glanced at the youngest paladin and saw her fiddling with her gauntlet. "It's nothing."

"No!" Keith said forcefully. "No secreds bedween us, righd?"

Shiro blinked. "Right."

Keith opened his mouth, then his eyes turned down. "You dell dem."

"Because of Keith's… condition, his nose will bleed when it is extremely dry, he gets emotional, or at high altitudes," Shiro said.

"No wonder he's so emo!" Lance said with a chuckle. He abruptly grew serious as he absorbed the last part. "Wait. High altitudes?"

"Keith's reason for getting kicked out of the Garrison," Shiro gave Keith a briefly hard look, "Isn't entirely because of discipline issues. Keith would never be allowed to fly more than a thousand feet off the ground, because it could cause his nose to bleed."

Shiro's mind flashed back to when he and the then twelve-year-old Keith had been given the news. It was the first time Shiro had ever seen Keith cry, as he had held the young boy sobbing tears, snot, and blood into his uniform.

"If it wasn't for that," Shiro continued quietly, brushing aside Keith's hair from his face. "Keith would likely have been part of the Kerberos mission as my co-pilot."

Everyone knew he could have. He was fast, smart, and tough. Shiro always thought that Keith would someday surpass him; Keith could have flown the Kerberos mission alone, even at his age.

But the Garrison hadn't wanted the Kerberos mission to end with half the crew coming home.

Lance gaped. "At seventeen?"

"You've seen him fly," Shiro said simply.

Lance snorted and crossed his arms, no longer sympathetic. Pidge's eyes widened at the thought of Keith having been with Shiro when the Galra captured the crew. Hunk was watching the door.

"Uh, guys," Hunk said when a sentry opened the door. A living Galra stepped inside with two sentries.

Shiro and Lance quickly stood. They, Pidge, and Hunk, stood protectively in front of Keith, who lowered Lance's glove from his nose that had finally stopped dripping.

"Grab the one in red," the Galra said.

Lance and Hunk shared a look. Lance threw himself at one of the sentries, who, predictably, blocked him and tossed him to the side. Right behind him, though, was Hunk. The larger body crashed into the sentry and smashed it into the wall. The second sentry lifted its gun, but Pidge leaped at it and grappled with the weapon until Lance recovered enough to help her topple the sentry.

The Galra, who had made the mistake of putting five untied paladins in one cell and tried to remove the most vulnerable, had five ticks to realize that he hadn't thought it through before an angry punch from Shiro knocked him cold.

The team turned back to see a very pale Keith trying to force himself to his feet. Shiro walked quickly over and caught the teen when his legs gave out.

Shiro hefted Keith into a semi-standing position, and saw tears streaming from his eyes. He had finally lost the battle with his emotions.

"You're going to make your nose start up again," Shiro said.

"I-I'm sor-rry," Keith stammered out. "I c-can'd fly."

"Now that's a ridiculous thought," Lance said. "You've been flying for a while now with no problems."

"Yeah!" Pidge piped up. "I bet Red's been helping you… keep it in."

Hunk raised his hand. "Yeah, Yellow helps me keep it in all the time."

Keith grimaced. "Gross."

Hunk grinned. "We'll figure something out."

Keith beamed lucidly at the team. "You guys are gread."

"Um, yeah, sure," Lance said, uncomfortable with Keith's state of mind. "I'm gonna scout ahead for Galra, okay?"

Lance scampered out the room, with Hunk close behind. Pidge waited while Shiro decided the best way to get Keith back to the lions. In the end, he turned and had Keith climb onto his back, where he draped like an exhausted koala bear.

"Let's go," Shiro said softly.

Pidge nodded and the pair hurried from the room.

* * *

Keith was okay when they got back to Red. He didn't leave the lion for several vargas, but when he emerged, he was back to his normal self. He stubbornly refused to talk about what had happened, and the team let it drop.

Verbally, at least. From then on, the team did their best to keep Keith as close to Red as possible. If the team had to fight on the ground, it wasn't unusual for one of them to stick close to Keith in case he had to stop.

As the team bonded and grew closer, Keith's worries about holding the team back ceased. As they did, the nosebleeds lessened.

Between the paladins, Red, the healing pods, and, eventually, the Olkari, Keith's nosebleeds finally stopped.

* * *

 **A/N: Keith's condition was inspired by Albert's symptoms in the Little House on the Prairie special: _Look Back to Yesterday._ That special used to horrify me, because nosebleeds are just awful. Keith isn't sick like Albert was, but the nosebleeds could kill him if they hadn't been stopped. (Theoretically. For all my inflicting this pain on Keith, I'm too queasy to look into this.)**

 **There was going to be another scene at the end about Keith actually getting healed, but the scene was bloody and was ending up very much like a chapter that will be in the upcoming _Little Ones._ Still, if enough people want it, I can finish it and add it in.**

 **In case anyone is wondering, the title of this story was inspired by the song Moana sang to Te Ka.**


	2. (Don't) Fear the Flames

**A/N: This chapter is somewhat connected to another story of mine, _Hysterical._ Gravtron1 suggested Keith's feel on fire and the attached insecurities.**

 **Synopsis: While trapped in a burning building, the team has to deal with a panicking Keith and a startling revelation.**

* * *

One of Keith's first memories was of fire.

At the age of three, he was woken up by the roar of flames and smoke choking his lungs. He had screamed, and his father had burst in seconds later.

His father had carried him to safety and called the fire crew. Father and son had stood side-by-side, watching the family home burn to the ground before help could come.

From there, Keith and his father had moved into the Garrison barracks, where little Keith got to watch his father work.

Fire fascinated the boy. Watching the flames, he could be mesmerized for hours by the controlled burns, his father's rescues, and even a simple candle.

Watching his father work took his breath away. He felt a rush each time his father ran into a fire, running high on fear when the flames hid his father, then joy when his father emerged, smoky, grinning, and triumphant.

It didn't occur to him that what his father did was dangerous. After all, he always came out.

Until he didn't.

* * *

After the disaster when he was eight, Keith became terrified of fire. A lighter was enough to send him running and screaming.

By the time he was taken under Shiro's wing, Keith had learned to hide his fear. Any flames still made him shake, and he steadfastly refused to go near campfires during cadet campouts.

Under Shiro's calm and steady presence, Keith grew better with the flames. When he was ten, he held a candle without flinching, and toasted a marshmellow the next year. By the time he was sixteen, he had barely any fear.

Then came the day of the Kerberos' mission launch.

Watching the flames shoot out from the shuttle's thrusters to send it flying into space, Keith felt the stirrings of that old fear.

Fire had taken his father, and now his brother.

Keith couldn't stick around for long after the crew was declared lost. When he finally lost it and ran, the fear had returned full-force.

Shiro's return helped, but the fear didn't leave entirely. Past experience with mockery made Keith hide the remaining fear of fire that still lingered. The three younger paladins had no idea of his past fear -Hunk and Lance had either not known or forgotten- and Keith thought he could somehow hide it.

Then he was chosen by Red.

Keith had been secretly horrified when Allura told him that he would pilot the Red Lion, who was the fire elemental of the five lions. He didn't want the Red Lion, and he must have known it to take so long to open to Keith.

In the end, Keith accepted his place because the Red Lion was needed for Voltron. Piloting Red was actually soothing for Keith in a way, and he often forgot that he was supposed to be afraid. Being part of a team helped him take risks with fire that he had never thought he could do.

He even jumped right into a burning village when the Arusians' village was attacked. He'd been running high on adrenaline the whole time and had thrown up once he was out of the fire -a difficult thing to convince Allura to keep secret- but he had done it.

Foolishly, he had thought that he could hide or overcome the fear in secret. Shiro's worried gaze was enough, the others didn't have to know.

Until they did.

* * *

Things had gone from bad to worse for the paladin, which had really become the norm for them at that point.

This time, it was being tricked into a Galra base that had hidden an impossible amount of sentries. The second part of the trap had been an explosion that had knocked out Keith and set half the building on fire.

"This would be a great time for Blue to show up!" Hunk yelped as the team was forced to a stop by yet another flaming doorway.

"She'd either freeze us, or crush us by knocking the building down," Lance said, wrily. "Pidge, where's this safe room supposed to be?"

Pidge checked her wrist-comp. "Down this hall. We can take a longer route to bypass the flames, but that section of the building is getting unstable."

Shiro, holding Keith in his arms, checked both halls that Pidge pointed to. "The shortest route. Our armor will protect us from the fire long enough to get to the safe room."

Lance groaned, but was the first to bolt through the flames. A tick later, his voice came over the comms.

"The hall's clear! Come on!"

Shiro went next with Keith, then Hunk, and Pidge was last. They ran through the fiery hall, then ducked into a room that was solid metal. Hunk tried to pull the door closed, but the fire had destroyed the hall enough that the door was jammed.

"Just leave it," Shiro said. "The fire can't reach us, and our suits will keep us cool."

The team retreated to the far wall and sat to wait out the fire. Shiro laid Keith on the ground and was relieved to see him stirring. The room was too hot to remove the boy's armor or helmet to properly check him, so it was best if he woke up and was able to tell them what had been hurt.

"Keith," Shiro said, lightly slapping Keith's helmet. "I need you to tell me what hurts."

"Head," Keith murmured without opening his eyes. "What happened?"

"It was a trap," Shiro said.

"Isn't it always?" Pidge retorted as she fiddled with her wrist-comp.

"An explosion cut us off from the lions, but we are safe here until the fire dies down," Shiro finished. Keith didn't respond. "Keith?"

Keith gave an odd little moan, almost a whine. Starting to get concerned, Shiro sat Keith up and braced him against his knee.

"Come on, buddy," Shiro murmured, leaning close to see through Keith's visor.

Keith had gotten pale fast. Shiro could hear that his breathing had sped up over the comms. Shiro hadn't thought that Keith had hit the wall that hard, but he had suddenly gotten worse when…

When Shiro had mentioned the fire.

"Pidge!" Shiro said, turning to the girl. "You need to turn off all of Keith's radio except for the intercom."

Though she didn't understand, Pidge hurried over and started working on Keith's wrist-comp. Before she could get far, there was a crash as a section of the building collapsed.

Shiro and the three youngest paladins started, but the response in Keith was as if he had been electrocuted.

Keith surged forward and fell on his hands and knees. He started to crawl forward, toward the flames, but Shiro caught his ankle and jerked him back.

"Let me go!" Keith screamed, whipping his head back.

Keith's eyes were wide and panicked. He wasn't looking at Shiro, but through him.

Keith lunged forward, freeing his ankle and jerking Shiro onto his face. Keith scrambled to his feet and ran for the doorway. He would have made it, if Lance hadn't recovered so quickly and flat-out tackled Keith to the ground.

Keith gave a hair-raising scream and tried to punch Lance. The blue paladin easily dodged, and repositioned his arms to pin Keith's arms to his side. Keith writhed and jammed his knee into Lance, who winced but didn't loosen his hold.

"I need some help here!" Lance squawked as Keith attempted to head-butt him.

Shiro was close behind, and was able to grab Keith's arm when he snaked it free. Keith shrieked like he was in pain, making the two paladins flinch. He jerked from their loosened hold, but only got as far as his feet before Hunk grabbed him in a bear hug.

"No, let me go!" Keith yelled, kicking and squirming to no avail.

"What's wrong with him?" Pidge asked as Hunk dragged Keith back.

"I'm not sure," Shiro said. "I think it's the fire."

Pidge, the only other paladin who had seen Keith break down about fire, stiffened.

"Shiro, hold his arm still, I need to turn off his external receivers," Pidge said.

Shiro tried to do as Pidge requested, but Keith was thrashing too much. Hunk was having a hard time holding him. Shiro was ready to give up and let Keith calm down on his own, when the red paladin yelled again.

"Dad!"

Shiro reared back, realization hitting him like a brick. Keith wasn't just having a panic attack, he was reliving a memory!

"Let me go, please!" Keith pleaded, slowing his fighting to turn his head toward Hunk. "I can help him! Let me help my dad!"

Tears began streaming down Hunk's face, especially when he saw that Keith was crying.

"Sorry, but I can't," Hunk said hoarsely.

Keith gave a wail that rose in pitch when there was another crash. "Please, Mark!"

"Who's Mark?" Lance asked quietly.

"One of his father's teammates," Shiro said. He had heard the story once, but it was still fresh in his mind. "He's the one who held Keith back from the fire that killed his father."

"He thinks he's back at the fire?" All Lance had known was that Keith's father had been a firefighter and that he had died.

"Stop fighting, Keith," Hunk begged. "Everything's fine."

"Let go!" Keith screamed. "It's all my fault! It's my fault! He needs me, Mark!"

"This needs to stop," Shiro said.

Shiro grabbed Keith's arm and tugged it out straight. Keith jerked briefly at his arm, but soon gave up to resume kicking at Hunk and Shiro. Pidge darted in and fiddled with the wrist-comp.

Keith abruptly fell still when Pidge shut off the receivers. As an afterthought, Pidge darkened his visor so he couldn't see the fire, either. Shiro nodded to her and Hunk, and gestured for Hunk to hand Keith to him.

"D-dad…" Keith whimpered as he was transferred. "I'm so sorry."

"Hush, it's not your fault," Shiro said as he leaned against the wall and slid down to sit with Keith held snuggly in front of him.

"Dad," Keith repeated. "Dad, I'm sorry."

Keith slumped backward into Shiro, body shaking with sobs. Shiro rocked the distraught boy and murmured comfort while Keith continued to sob apologies. He seemed to gradually become more aware of where and when he was.

"I couldn't protect him," Keith sniffed. "It's my fault."

"It's not your fault," Shiro said.

"It is! I told him to go! Everyone thought that the kid was outside but me! I sent him in, and I couldn't get him out!" Keith turned his dark visor toward Shiro. "It's my fault that Dad died."

"Don't say that," Shiro said firmly. "Your dad knew the risks. He wouldn't have had it any other way. He would have saved the kid, even if he had known what would happen."

"How do you even know?" Keith sniffled. "You never knew my dad."

"But I'm good friends with someone who did."

Keith fell silent. His body slowly stilled and he calmed until he was only giving the occasional sniff. Shiro half thought that he had fallen asleep, when Keith whispered.

"I'm sorry."

"You need to stop that," Shiro said firmly.

"I thought I could handle it," Keith went on as if he hadn't heard. "Being the red paladin. But I can't stop fire."

"I think you've done a fine job," said Pidge. She had heard his insecurities about protecting the others from fire, and wasn't eager to hear it again. "No one ever said that the red paladin can control fire."

Lance poked her. "But you're the green paladin, and you control plants."

Pidge smacked him. "So can the Olkari. But you can't control ice or water, and Hunk can't control earth."

"Fair point. We're one for five, man," Lance said to Keith.

"No one expects you to protect us from fire," Shiro said. "You aren't a paladin of fire."

"But I can't stand fire," Keith said, sounding like he was gritting his teeth.

"Everyone's afraid of something," Hunk said. "Or, like me, everything."

Even Keith gave a little chuckle at the statement.

"The important thing is that you are not alone," Shiro said. "We're all here for each other."

Keith sighed and tipped his head back. After a long silent moment, he spoke.

"Is the fire over yet?"

Shiro looked through the doorway. The roof had collapsed, putting out a portion of the fire.

"I think it is enough for us to leave," Shiro said.

Lance went to the doorway and scrambled out. He called back after a few ticks, "Oh, yeah. If we climb on top of the room, there's a few other safe rooms still standing. We can leap-frog to the ground!"

"Let's get out of here," Shiro said.

"I want to go out on my own," Keith said.

"Not without being able to see," Lance said, sliding to the floor. "It's a mess out there."

"Put my visor back to normal," Keith said.

"There's still fires burning out there," Lance said. "We'll have to jetpack over some of them."

"I'll be fine," Keith said. "I've got you, remember?"

Shiro's protest died on his lips at Keith's faith in the team. He glanced at the others, who smiled and nodded back. Pidge quickly put his visor back to normal, then the team went to the door.

Keith sucked in a breath at the burnt remains of the building, but nodded to Shiro's questioning look.

The team scrambled to the top of the building. Lance and Pidge went in the front to find the best path. Keith and Shiro were behind them, the elder paladin helping the younger navigate. Hunk was last, steadying Keith when he slipped.

As the paladins lined up on the roof, Keith looked at the others, then down. He nodded to Shiro, and held his hand on his shoulder. He kicked off the roof, Lance and Pidge in front and the others behind.

He didn't have to fear the flickering flames beneath him, because he had the team to support him.

Until the end.


	3. Remember Me

**A/N: I wrote and posted this entire story in under 72 hours and apparently stink at closure, so the ending is rather... bleh. Anyway, enjoy this other little bit of emotional trauma for Keith!**

 **It's post-season seven.**

 **Also, I wrote a poem. 0w0**

* * *

 _He wondered at the boy's introduction._

 _He suspected when he met his father._

 _He told himself it was his imagination._

 _He forgot when his brother went further._

 _He remembered again when the boy returned._

 _He thought again when the father reappeared._

 _He tried to forget again when of his mother he learned._

 _He knew in the quantum abyss what he had feared._

 _He watched his happy life die._

 _He screamed to the dark sky._

* * *

Knocking woke Shiro. He blearily lifted his head and check his clock. 0400 hours. He groaned and sat up. A commander's work was never done.

Shiro dragged himself out of bed. He draped his coat over his shoulders and slipped on his black lion slippers that had somehow survived their trip to Earth.

"This had better be good," Shiro said, trying to sound authoritative through his yawns as he opened the door.

He expected one of the members of the Garrison staff. Maybe one of the paladins checking in because they couldn't sleep for one reason or another.

Instead, he was greeted by the white-pupiled gaze of Krolia. She was without her normal armor, just wearing the dark purple and blue shirt and pants that passed for casual clothes for her.

"Krolia." Shiro blinked. "You're up early."

"I need you." Without waiting, Krolia turned and walked away.

"Wait!"

Shiro started after her, then quickly backtracked to his room. He grabbed his robotic arm, which had the single downfall of him being unable to sleep with it activated, and trotted after Krolia.

"What is it?" Shiro asked when he caught up.

"Keith was calling for you."

Shiro raised an eyebrow. It had been a few months since the battle with the Robeast that had nearly killed the paladins. Keith was easily well enough to go to Shiro.

Krolia saw the look, and explained. "He had the dream again."

Shiro cursed and started to run.

* * *

Keith didn't show up for breakfast.

Pidge scanned the ATLAS' galley as she shoveled cereal into her mouth. "Where's Keith?"

Matt protectively covered his bowl. "Hey, hey! Say it, don't spray it!"

Pidge smirked at her brother and checked the room again. Besides the paladins, Matt, and Sam at one table, there were only a few staff members milling around.

"I haven't seen Shiro this morning," Lance said. "His door was open, though."

"Shiro's been pretty busy," Hunk said.

"And maybe Keith and Krolia wanted to have breakfast in peace," Allura suggested.

"It's still weird for neither of them to check in," Pidge said. She swallowed her last mouthful. "I'm going to check the lounge."

Lance pushed away his plate, his breakfast sandwich reduced to crumbs. "I'm coming with! To the P lounge!"

Hunk grimaced as he finished his last few bites of fruit. "Please don't call it that when I'm eating."

Hunk, Allura, Matt, and Sam were quick to join. Before long, the group had made their way to the section of the ATLAS that was reserved specifically for the paladins and their families.

The reserved section had enough dorms for the families, a lounge similar to the one that had been in the Castle of Lions, a small galley, an observatory, a couple labs, and a library. Lance had started calling the rooms, for example, the P lounge, which stood for paladin lounge. Not even the labs could escape being call P labs as long as Lance was around.

The group reached the lounge. The door was closed, which was unusual, so Lance slid it open. They heard Keith's voice, halfway through a sentence that brought them to a halt.

"...I saw him now, I feel like I would punch him!"

The back of Keith's head was visible over the back of one of the couches. Krolia was seated beside him, rubbing his back. Shiro stood on Keith's other side, though he glanced up when the door opened.

Shiro shook his head silently. Lance, of course, just cocked his head and stepped further into the room with the others following. As the whole group went in, Shiro's eyes widened and he gestured fiercely at them to get out.

This caught Krolia and Keith's attention. They both turned their heads. Krolia's expression turned to a panic like Shiro's, while Keith's sorrowful eyes suddenly turned hard. Keith quickly stood and stalked around the couch.

"Keith-!" Shiro grabbed for Keith, but the young man twitched his arm away.

Keith stormed toward the group with a murderous look in his eyes. Hunk was quick to dodge past the Holts and out of the room, but Lance held his ground.

"Keith, calm down and talk to me!" Lance said, hoping to stop Keith before anything happened.

Keith ignored him, as Lance wasn't even the recipient of the glare. Keith stalked up to Lance. In one move, he shoved Lance to the side and swung up his other hand to punch the young man right behind him.

Matt stumbled backward into Sam, who managed to catch him and stay upright with the help of Hunk. Pidge gave an angry yell and shoved Keith.

Krolia was behind Keith in a tick. She grabbed his arm, though Keith didn't act like he was going to swing again.

"Keith!" Lance yelped, confused by his leader's harsh act.

"What was that for?!" Matt demanded as he felt his nose for injury.

Pidge stepped in front of Matt, eyes blazing with fury.

"Why?!" Keith screamed, making everyone freeze. "Why did you have to fall behind?!"

"I'm sorry?" Matt grunted. He tried to straighten, but found that his father's hold on him had tightened. "Dad?"

Sam looked past Matt and Keith, meeting Shiro's eyes.

"He knows," Shiro said.

In the next instant -as if everyone wasn't confused enough- Keith collapsed to his knees and hid his face in his hands. Krolia sighed as she knelt and grabbed her son in a hug.

"Okay!" Hunk yelled, causing the confused talking to silence. "Who's going to explain this? What is wrong with Keith?"

"He had a bad dream," Shiro said slowly, hesitantly.

"It was a memory," Krolia added.

"Okay, so he got spooked. Why did he punch Matt specifically?" Hunk asked next.

Shiro and Krolia glanced at each other, then at Sam.

"Next question: how does Professor Holt know, if we don't?" Hunk asked.

"I think it is time we explained," Shiro said.

Keith, who now had tears dripping from his eyes, lifted his head and whispered hoarsely, "I'm sorry. I thought I could forget."

Shiro waved the increasingly confused group into the room. Matt and Pidge gave Keith a wide berth to get to one of the couches and sit. Lance and Hunk sat across from them, while Sam went to stand beside Shiro. Keith and Krolia remained in the middle of them all.

"Keith," Shiro said, crouching. "Can we tell them about what you have been dreaming?"

Keith hiccuped and nodded.

"Do you want to explain?"

Keith quickly shook his head and hid his face in Krolia's shirt.

"What happened?" Pidge asked, torn between anger and worry at Keith.

Sam responded by turning to Matt. "Do you remember Timothy Plains' ninth birthday party?"

"What?" dead-panned Matt and the paladins.

"Do you?"

"Yes?" Matt said, frowning. "Barely, but it was hard to forget."

"Why?" Allura asked.

Matt's eyes fell. "Their house caught fire."

"It was a candle."

Everyone jumped at Keith's weary voice. The young man lifted his head and continued to speak. He was weirdly calm by then, as if his outburst had drained him.

"One of the birthday candles had been put on the tablecloth before it was fully out. The fire spread to the doorway, cutting the kids off from the parents. The Plains' ran out the back door, and one of the kids led the others out the front." Keith's eyes locked onto Matt. "Except for you."

Matt blinked. "Yeah. My… my feet were numb from sitting weird and the smoke was confusing me." Matt's brow furrowed. "How do you remember that?"

Keith continued to stare at Matt sadly. Pidge snapped her fingers, making everyone jump yet again.

"The quantum abyss!" Pidge said. "You saw the past in there, didn't you?"

"But why would he see my past?" Matt asked. "Much less that day?"

"Because it was fire-related?" Hunk guessed.

"Because I was there," Keith said.

"Like, outside? Or did you-" Matt broke off, eyes widening. "No. No, the Keith that was at the party was always laughing and cheerful and-and his dad was good friends with my dad and-" Matt looked desperately at Sam.

"It's true. When you met at the Garrison years later and neither showed signs of remembering, I wanted to leave the past in the past," Sam said.

"You were there?" Pidge asked Keith.

"He's the one who led the kids outside." Matt ran a hand through his hair. "He was the only who kept his cool. He knew what to do, because… because..."

"Because my dad was a firefighter. I led the kids outside, and did a head count. One was missing. When your dad showed up, I realized who it was. Then the firefighters came-"

"No," Matt pleaded.

"The firefighters came," Keith went on, "And I told them that you were still inside. No one believed me but my dad. He went inside to get you, despite everyone telling him to not go."

"He found me in the wrong room," Matt said weakly. "He was carrying me to the door, when…"

"Part of the frame collapsed on him."

Keith and Matt were almost tag-teaming the story, Keith having witnessed the scene many times and Matt slowly filling in the gaps of his memories.

"He was trapped. He told me to run outside. I found a woman and told her."

"Libby. She was a teammate of his."

"She ran inside, then… then the ceiling collapsed."

"I tried to run inside, but Mark held me back."

"Neither of them came out."

The two young men's voices trailed off as they stared at each other in horror and sadness. Keith was the next to speak.

"Your dad found the two of us. I can't remember what I said, just that I ran."

"You ran, and I thought I would never see you again. Dad said you would live with us, but when you never came… where did you go?"

"I don't know. I just ran and ran, until somebody found me sleeping in an alley. They took me to the police, and I ended up at the orphanage."

"Keith was found a twelve hours' drive away," Sam supplied. "With no kin to contact, he was lost to the system before I could find him. When he showed up four years later, under Shiro's care and seemingly not remembering us, I told Shiro, but that was the only time I brought it up."

"I did remember. Sort of. I convinced myself that it wasn't true, until I saw it again in the quantum abyss," Keith murmured, sinking into himself. "I've relived it in my dreams ever since."

Matt slid off the couch. Krolia slipped away as the young men grabbed each other in a hug.

"I'm so sorry," Matt whispered.

"It was Dad's time," Keith murmured back. "Something tells me he would have done it again in an instant."

"Your dad was a hero."

"Thanks."

Nothing more was said.

* * *

 **A/N: -crickets-**

 **Yeah, that's all I got.**


End file.
